They suck?
Posts Tagged ‘woman’
Russian Cops
Monday, November 21st, 2011
It’s A Friend Of A Friend Kind Of Tuesday
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011Alrighty folks, let’s get down to brass tacks now shall we? This week’s Tuesday selection is a friend of a friend and now a FB friend of mine and she is in a contest similar to last week’s selection. This week I present to you: Ashley Froats-Latona.
“Froats” is actually an old Germanic word meaning “DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”.
She hails from San Antonio, Texas and she is in a contest for her employer Bikinis Sports Bar and Grill where she is the head bartender at her San Antonio location and soon-to-be head bikini smokeshow.
I don’t think she’s going to have any problems in the “bikini hotness” category. She DOES however, need your vote to win.
I mean, Stevie Wonder could see this lady deserves to win and he could point it out to Ray Charles who, if he was still alive, would agree.
She sent me her stats and if you care to know them (and I know you do) they are as follows: 5ft 8in, 34D-25-36 Age: 31
Just in case any of you guys out there are feeling your self control slipping, keep these following interesting facts in mind: she is in the application process for the San Antonio Police Dept, she’s married, she has ten dogs, and her husband is a big dude. And in case you’re wondering “big fat or big hurt me by swinging a pillow case full of soda cans?” you should probably err toward the latter.
Let’s face it though: if your wife looks like this, you had better be a big dude so you can beat back all of the guys trying to hit on her.
In Ashley’s own words: “I really love my job because it is fun and something intresting is always happening. The people I work with are great too! It’s like we’re one big family. I just recently won live in-store bikini contest, the preliminary Facebook bikini contest, and am I hoping to come out on top of this on too!”
I am guessing she will most certainly be on top.
Again, this is the link: Go here, vote for her, and keep going back and voting for her. Hell, tell your friends to vote for her, too. As for myself, well, I’ll be in my bunk.
Ten gallon hat tip to CJ.
Yet Another Reason To Have The Means To Protect Yourself At Home
Monday, May 23rd, 2011Especially if you are a woman and especially if you are a woman who lives alone and is being stalked.
And this is yet another reason why we need to keep fighting for handgun rights. It is highly dubious that this woman could have stayed on the phone with 911 and effectively utilized a long gun or a shotgun.
It’s Tuesday… Well, At Least It Still Is In The Midwest
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010It is the 200th anniversary of the world famous Oktoberfest. If I could only be there in Munich right now… I would probably be in jail.
And if you are planning to go to an Oktoberfest party you might try the following costumes…
which can be found here…
as well as here.
Bottoms up.
I’ll be in der bunk.
Nothing Better
Monday, December 7th, 2009Okay, it may be just my personal, humble opinion but I think there is absolutely nothing better than watching women in burqas trying to eat spaghetti. I think the guy sitting behind them agrees with me.
I think there is no more clear sign that Islam is a misogynist religion and that Muslim men hate women than the idea of a burqa-clad woman trying to eat pasta in public. Although if I were a Muslim woman I would wear a burqa all the time… it cuts down on the scarring when you get acid thrown in your face for attending school.
Breaking News: Hitler Was A (<) 40 Year Old Woman
Monday, September 28th, 2009
Or not…
A skull long believed to be that of Adolf Hitler actually belonged to a woman, according to an American scientist who has taken DNA samples from it.
He could tell it belonged to a woman because of all of the decoupage that he found on it.
The skull was taken by Soviet forces in 1945 when they found charred remains outside the Nazi dictator’s bunker in Berlin.
And as we all know, a pile of smoking, unidentifiably charred remains is pretty much proof positive that those remains were once the head of the Third Reich.
The Russians said at the time that the findings backed claims that Hitler had shot himself on April 30, 1945, and then been cremated along with his wife, Eva Braun.
Apparently there were thousands and thousands of piles of “backed claims” smoldering around Berlin at the time.
Now, however, archaeologist and bone specialist Nick Bellantoni says the skull really belonged to a woman aged under 40 and not Hitler – who was 56 when he died.
The first thing that pops tp mind is that maybe it was Eva Braun… or perhaps one of the thousands of other women who died during WW II.
Neither does Mr Bellantoni believe the skull belongs to Braun, Hitler’s long-time girlfriend and last-minute wife, who is thought to have killed herself by taking cyanide and would therefore not have had a bullet wound – as this skull has.
Well, there goes my theory. Or maybe the story about Eva dropping cyanide was wrong and she actually took one in the head?
The Russians say they have never claimed the skull itself was the chief reason for their belief the skull was Hitler’s.
Um, what? So you find a skull and you say it’s Hitler’s but you don’t think it was Hitler’s skull because you thought it was Hitler’s skull? Wtf?
Instead, they point to dental records as confirmation that Hitler killed himself.
Dental records confirmed by looking at (wait for it) Hitler’s skull? Gotcha. That’s what I love about Russians; they can lie to your face and then say that it was the lie that made them lie in the first place and then use the same lie as proof of their innocence of lying. I suppose the one thing left to ask after this debacle about the the skull is this: Where’s Hitler.
Tehran Tuesday Titillation
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
Considering the elections in Iran and the turmoil caused by the disputed results thereof (come on, Ahmadinejad won fair and square? Really?), this Tuesday’s selection is dedicated to the Iranian folks that are protesting the election results and fighting the good fight to depose that asshat. This Tuesday’s pick is a home girl of sorts. Her name is Aylar Dianati Lie. 
She is a Norwegian born woman of Iranian parents who got about as far away from the Jihad business as an Iranian girl can get.
Her racy photo shoots are nothing compared to what she does in live action videos (NSFW) or her really naughty modeling assignments (Really and totally NSFW). 
I like to call the pose she is doing above the “Persian Parlor Pout”.
Just the fact that she’s not wearing a head scarf in the picture above could get her beaten and arrested in Iran.
The picture above would have gotten her shot in Iran… married in America, but shot in Iran.
And as you can see, she digs cammo and that’s alright by me. Now just think, she’s only one example of what women can be like behind the Hadji curtain… imagine what we might see if they oust Ahmadinejad and get a moderate in there that’s more concerned with feeding his people instead of arresting them for wanting to have free will? Brahma Beer
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009Best. Beer. Commercials. Evah.
If She Offers You Head, Run For Your Life
Friday, October 17th, 2008
LUCKNOW, India — A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said Friday.
I think the word “paraded” is a bit too strong here… there weren’t any floats or marching bands or anything like that. Damned media grandstanding again.
Police arrested the woman late Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses who reported a blood-soaked woman holding a severed head was walking through the village, said police officer Ram Bharose.
Now see, if I see a blood soaked woman holding a severed head the first thing that comes to my mind is “worst case of PMS ever.”
The woman, 35, told police she had gone to a nearby forest to cut grass for fodder for her cattle when a man attacked her from behind.
Had he attacked her from the front, I think she may have targeted a different area.
“In a bid to save her dignity she beheaded him with a sickle,” Bharose said, adding that the woman had bite marks on her neck and cheek.
Okay, there are ninjas that can’t behead you with a sickle if you’re attacking them from behind. This woman must be the Bollywood version of Jackie Chan mixed with some “Kill Bill” Uma Thurmon moves. Just sayin’.
The woman also told police that the man had been harassing and stalking her for three months and she had no regrets about killing him, he said, adding that she would probably be charged with culpable homicide.
Well, they do use sickles to cut down stalks so I suppose it stands to reason.
The incident took place in Makkapurva village, some 125 miles southeast of Lucknow, the capital of Uttar Pradesh state.
And even with all of that descriptive geographical information, you still have no idea where this took place other than “somewhere in India”.
Speaking Of The Burning Man Festival…
Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
MOSCOW (Reuters) – A woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was “difficult to predict.”
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.
“It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. “I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
I’m sorry, but my opinion is this: if you set a man’s junk on fire, you’ve pretty much forfeited any human rights you previously had. That woman should be given a one-way ticket to Tehran.
It’s Tuesday!
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007Sorry guys, almost forgot. Tuesday Titillation time! You see, this is a much more appropriate display of the USMC Uniform.
