Posts Tagged ‘Stolen valor’

BUSTED

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

Douchey McChinpubes is in custody! Put one in the win column for the good guys!

When asked for a comment about his arrest, McChinpubes said “I am totally sad and stuff that I won’t be able to make a mockery of the service and sacrifice of US service members by parading around as one when I didn’t earn it… but at least where I’m going suits my lifestyle!”
Now you may be asking yourself, “how does Sniper feel about this?” Well, kinda like this…

Except I don’t dance as well.

H/T to Nixon for the dance video.

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The Fakes, Frauds, And Freaks Fest Continues

Monday, January 18th, 2010

SAN DIEGO —- A Ramona man accused of posing as a Marine major general at a Veterans of Foreign Wars party in Ramona to celebrate the birthday of the Marine Corps was arraigned Wednesday on a federal misdemeanor charge of making false claims about military decorations or medals.

David Vincent Weber, 69, appeared in court out of custody and was ordered to post $15,000 bail.

Magistrate Judge Ruben Brooks set a hearing for Thursday to determine if Weber should have to turn over an identification card that prosecutors said indicated Weber was a major general.

Why is it that every time some douchenozzle pretends to be a soldier, sailor, ariman, or marine he has to make himself a general or a colonel or a Medal of Honor recipient? Why don’t they go for the more mundane, yet entirely more believable private with an Army Service Ribbon and a Marksman Badge or a Marine E-3 who got kicked out for drunk and disorderly conduct after hitting his third PL or a sailor who got kicked out for, well, I won’t tell? Why is it always some faux-hero? And do they really think that we’re stupid or naive enough to buy thier bullshit stories? Lemme let you wannabes in on something: we’re smart enough to fly fighter jets and we have no problem killing people… do you really, really want to test our intellect or our resolve? Most of the vets I know don’t have a problem with pulling a trigger without a second’s hesitation… dialing a phone to call the FBI and bust your lying asses wouldn’t require a second thought.

P.S. Get your lardass out of that uniform. The least you could do if you were going to fake the funk would be to get a jacket that fits your corpulent ass.

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Just When You Thought Monday Couldn’t Get Any Crazier…

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Along comes this douchebag…

What, am I wrong for calling an Army General in full regalia a douchebag? Well, I would be if it were actually an Army General instead of a poseur claiming to be an Army General at a public function. This is Michael Patrick McManus Chan… aka Douchey McChinpubes. Here he is in his natural habitat…

Apparently General McChinpubes is not only a three time Combat Infantryman and Knight of the British Empire and Personal body guard to Colin Powell and DLI trained German linguist and Special Forces black ops specialist and Psychiatrist, he’s also one of the guys from REM’s “Losing My Religion” video.

Where did we get this guy? Well, he showed up at Democrat Annise Parker’s victory party last month in Houston. “Why did he show up in a General’s uniform” you might ask? Perhaps he was pushing for a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”? Well, Annise Parker is openly lesbian and it would be a political statement to out yourself at such a function as a General… if you were a friggin’ General!!! Bad way to promote your cause ass-hat. Perhaps he thinks that all of those awards and ranks are optional? Well, if he really did serve (hard to believe, but possible) you would (or at least should) know that medals, ribbons, and rank aren’t fashion accessories. Or perhaps he’s just batshit crazy. I’m opting for option “c” here. Home-chicken here is nuttier than squirrel turds and probably as stable as plutonium coated with nitroglycerin in a paint mixer.

If you want to get the more comprehensive scoop, go to the progenitors of this story and watch the insanity unfold.
Blackfive
Boston Maggie
Bouhammer
CDR Salamander
From My Position
Hooah Wife
Kiss My Gumbo
A Soldier’s Perspective
This Ain’t Helll
It’s really, really worth your time. Think “David Lynch meets Quintin Tarrantino meets Sybil”.

Seriously though, if I saw this guy at that function I would have saw him for the fraud he was in about two seconds and I would have been all up in his shi… er, I mean his ass would have been min… er, I would have been all over his ass… er, I would have put my foot so far up his… dammit… I would have told him very angrily.

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Douchebag Of The Week

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

fakedoucheThis is Steven Burton. Steven is a 39 year old bank employee. Steven is looking pretty dapper decked out in his Dress Blues, eh? What I can’t figure out is why he’s both a LTC and a Master Gunnery Sergeant. fakedouche2I guess when Navy Commander Colleen Salonga saw Burton decked out in full regalia (complete with Navy Cross and what looks like an Army Service Ribbon) at a high school reunion she couldn’t figure that out either so she had a picture taken with him. Thanks to CMDR Salonga’s quick thinking and the FBI’s efforts Burton is now facing federal charges for faking the funk.

If only Burton had chosen something more believable to fake he might have gotten away with it. Like, for example if he had faked being a CPT in the 101st Airborne on D-Day…douche1

Or maybe Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps…douche2

Or perhaps even Miss America…douche3

Regardless of what he chooses to masquerade as next, I think we can all agree that we know what he really is…dog shitting1aH/T to VT Woody

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Nothing To See Here… Move Along

Friday, September 25th, 2009

Over at The Burn Pit there is an interesting article on Stolen Valor. As you may or may not know, Stolen Valor is the term used to describe soldiers and/or civilians making up phony military resumes, trumping up awards, and generally lying about their service (or lack thereof). It’s not just insulting to soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen… it’s now against the law. Wearing medals, badges, ribbons, rank, etc that you didn’t earn while trying to claim you did is a violation of federal law. And if that is the case, why isn’t the US Attorney for Colorado prosecuting these cases?

The FBI said that they were told not to prosecute and that the order came from the US Attorney… but why would he do that? Here’s an interesting tidbit: the highest profile Stolen Valor case right now in Colorado is against Rick Duncan (actual name: Rick Strandlof) who is a phony vet. So what’s the big deal? Well, he was not only not only a phony vet, but the mouthpiece for VoteVets out in CO. VoteVets, as you may know, is a “veterans’ advocacy” group that is only slightly less politically polarized than the KGB. I have never seen them not toe the Democratic Party line and that’s fine as long as you’re not touting yourself as a non partisan organization… which they do. So this group with strong ties to a political party would really rather not have their name dragged through the mud by being associated with this guy (who was so obviously phony that he said he had a finger shot off in Iraq… despite having all ten fingers when he said it) who should be getting tried and convicted of Stolen Valor… so what? Well, who is running the show out in Colorado? Anyone that VoteVets supports? Anyone that supports VoteVets? Nawwww, couldn’t be. That’s political underhandedness and only the other guys do that.

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Not Man Enough To Be A Real SEAL, Not Smart Enough To Be A Fake One

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

Jerome Ticker, dressed in a captain’s Navy whites complete with prestigious Navy Cross, Silver Star and Purple Heart decorations, was quite the striking figure at his wedding in Slidell.

The problem is, he never served in the Navy, or in any branch of the military.

Ticker, 42, of the Holden community in Livingston Parish, had convinced his fiancee that he was a war hero, a Navy Seal festoon More..ed with medals, and so it was only fitting for him to decorate himself to a T in his deceit for their April 12 nuptials.

While the bride may have fallen for Ticker’s tale, at least one person at the ceremony didn’t buy it, and notified authorities.

On Tuesday, Ticker pleaded guilty in New Orleans to a federal charge of illegally wearing the medals and was sentenced by U.S. District Judge Jay Zainey to 12 months of home confinement, followed by two years of supervised release and a $500 fine.
And just why didn’t that one person at the wedding buy his ruse? Because he was wearing a Navy Captain’s uniform with a Navy Lieutenant Commander’s hat. But if there actually were people at the wedding that knew this guy and were buying his line of bull[CIR], then they should neutered because they are far too stupid to breed. Why do I say that? Well…
Ticker, who works for a building maintenance company in Gonzales, posed as a Navy captain, the rank just below rear admiral. Previously, with his first wife, he had played the part of a lieutenant commander in the Navy, Swear said.
Any of you guys know of any Special Operations types that made it to the rank of Captain (you know, right below the rank of Rear Admiral), then went on to satisfying careers in janitorial work? And no, I’m not talking about the kind of “janitorial work” that involves cleaning up figurative messes by using a faceless but well trained strike force, unregistered weapons, and a bag of lye. No? I didn’t think so.

[Insert IVAW joke here.]

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He said what? Are you [CIR]ing me?

Monday, October 1st, 2007

In case you can’t make that out, I have linked to Instapundit above from where I stole that. But it is a passage from the Book Stolen Valor, by B.G. Burkett, a man that I once escorted to a MoH ceremony at the White House. Anyway, it discuss Senator Tom Harkin.

Tom Harkin wins my Rabbit Pellet award of the Day for this statement he had about the completely faux Rush Limbaugh controversy:

Well, I don’t know. Maybe he was just high on his drugs again. I don’t know whether he was or not. If so, he ought to let us know. But that shouldn’t be an excuse.

That my friends is almost as perfect irony as you will ever get. A Phony Veteran attacking someone for commenting on Phony Veterans. Absolute Classic!

God I love the hypocrisy of politics.

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