Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’

A Little Levity For A Glum Friday

Friday, November 6th, 2009

TGIFI’m going to do this kind of like BNG’s Friday roundup but I won’t call it that because that’s BNG’s thing, not mine. So here we go…

Only Miss England would get into a pub brawl…

LONDON —  The reigning Miss England has relinquished her crown after being accused of a fight in a bar.

British newspapers reported that Christie got into a dustup with another beauty queen — Miss Manchester Sara Beverley Jones — in a nightclub earlier this week.

Greater Manchester Police said Friday that a 21-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of assault after an altercation at the city’s Mansion nightclub on Monday. She was released on bail pending further enquiries.

I for one have no problem with my tax dollars going to support scientific studies on college campuses such as this…

DURHAM, N.C. —  A campus religious leader is unhappy about a study at Duke University that invites female students to attend parties where they can buy sex toys.

The study asks female students over age 18 to attend the events that are similar to Tupperware parties but with erotic toys, lingerie and games. The women complete surveys about their sexual attitudes before and after the parties and get product discounts.

Apparently the Catholic Center at Duke is up in arms over this. I guess they’re afraid that the coeds will spend their Sundays kneeling and screaming “Oh God” for reasons other than religion.

And finally, in the “did you keep the receipt” department…

An American couple are looking into other methods of having children after they discovered that she was allergic to his sperm – on their wedding night.

Mike and Julie Boyde of Ambridge, Pennsylvania, went out for two years after meeting at university and got married in 2005.

Before their wedding, the couple always used protection, but once they became as man and wife and had unprotected sex, things started to go wrong.

Apparently her throat started to immediately swell up… hey, that’s what happens in allergic reactions! Frankly, I find the whole concept of woman being alergic to her husband’s semen a little hard to swallow.

Have a good weekend… well, at least a better one than the rest of this week.

The Best Quote Of The Week:

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

“We’d also heard mention of [the heckling and dildo dump], but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice,” said AIK club head Mats Hedenström to the newspaper.

This quote comes from a story about a Swedish hockey team, their defenseman Jan Huokko, and a hail of dildos, a giant inflatable penis, and a viral Internet sex video.
Another great quote from the story: “Huokko is known for putting the biscuit in the basket.”
The thing that kills me about this is how nonchalant they all were about it. I mean, when the sex video that brought this all on was mentioned to Huokko, he was quoted as saying “That’s what people do when it comes to sex.” Really? Holy crap! Maybe that’s why I was never nearly as successful as my peers when it came to getting women to come home with me from bars back in the day… all of my friends had camcorders and I didn’t!

But why throw dildos if the whole thing is a big “video sex scandal”? Well, after some exhaustive research (about two minutes worth) I found stills from the video in question of Jan Huokko and his girlfriend. The video capture shows Huokko using a dildo… on himself. That’s right… he was putting the rubber man missile up in his stink silo… or maybe she was jamming it up there… it’s hard to tell by the angle and I only gave it a quick glance before I threw up. I bet all of you guys who followed the link before reading the rest of the sentence are really sorry you didn’t exercise more patience.
Fans here would have been nonplussed to say the least about the meatier shower that rained down on the ice, but apparently the Swedes are so used to getting that much sex that it was a “non-issue” for them. “It didn’t affect play at all. People barely noticed it,” [Lars G. Karlsson, an official from Sweden’s ice hockey association] said. “Barely noticed it”?!?! Hundreds of dildos hit the ice because some guy got cornholed by his girlfriend’s best battery operated buddy and people barely noticed it?
Wow.
Just, wow.
H/T to TSO and his buddies at “PooperPiratePrideWeb”