This is the kind of story where the jokes write themselves.
Life in the Army can be hard, and fraternization is discouraged. But where in the regulations does it say you can’t have sex with a plastic blow-up doll?
It’s actually not against Virginia law, either, which is why places such as Woodbridge’s MVC Late Night adult store sell the dolls. But it IS against the law to break into such stores, and Prince William County authorities allege that Justin Dale Little Jim did unlawfully enter the shop on Route 1 about 2:35 a.m. Tuesday. When officers responded to the scene, a police dog led them to a store closet, where they found Little Jim, wearing women’s panties and engaged in an act of sweet sweet love with one of the store’s products, Prince William Commonwealth’s Attorney Paul B. Ebert said.
Justin Dale Little Jim (PRINCE WILLIAM COUNTY POLICE) Little Jim, 28, whom police described as an Army officer, was arrested. Upon investigating further, police say they determined that he had already been in and out of the store once: The front glass door had been broken and unlocked, and more than $200 worth of merchandise had been placed in his vehicle, Officer Jonathan Perok said.
Awesome.
Awe. Some.
I mean, where else in the world will you find a story that has a cross-dressing Army officer, breaking and entering, an inflatable sex doll, an adult book store/XXX theater-esque establishment, and the words “sweet, sweet love” used all in three paragraphs? This is brilliant. Brilliant. And The very best part of it was that is was an officer. Sorry guys, but the enlisted Joes know that you talk smack about them all the time and you can get away with murder while they get raked over the coals for small infractions all the time so this is kind of like just desserts. Sure, enlisted guys buy porn all the time and some buy inflatable dolls. But we have the common courtesy to pay for the things and the brains to wait until the store is open to do so. Besides, we prefer all of our infractions to be alcohol related, thank you very much.
