The Sniper

Apparently Kelli McCarty is a woman of many talents. She was Miss USA 1991, she was in the NBC soap opera “Passions” for 7 years, and is also a recurring character on “Even Stevens” on the Disney Channel. Oh yeah, and she now takes tool for money as a recent inductee into the porn industry in the Vivid Productions movie “Faithless”. That’s a fairly ballsy move for a 39 year old who is already an established actress in doing legitimate acting. The thing that strikes me about her, however, is not that she’s a little bit past her prime to start doing porn or that she’s a former actress or even that she’s a former Miss USA (the first one to turn to porn) but that she’s so completely clueless as to the ramifications of her choice. Read on…

“I enjoy acting, and I really like sex, so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions,” McCarty told Tarts. “It was a pretty easy transition, I think mainstream television is definitely starting to merge with the adult world anyway – it’s all about sex and nudity, and I’ve been pretending to have love scenes on ‘Passions’ for years anyway.”

While the on-screen adjustment wasn’t too much of a sweat for McCarty, she was shocked at how the men in her personal life have suddenly changed their tune.
“These are guys that I’ve known for a long time that are a suddenly putting it out there, they think because I have sex on television I must want to do it with them, too. Its really creepy and disturbing, being an adult film star does not automatically put you into the slut category,” McCarty said. “Maybe you’d expect that from people you don’t know, but this is coming from guys I considered friends. Weird.”

Okay, time for the reality check. If you tell guys you’re a porn star, they’re going to want to have sex with you. Period. And the guys aren’t out of line for asking if you ask me. If a woman says she makes a mean apple pie, you’re going to ask for a taste. If a guy says he makes his own beer, you’re going to want a pint or two. If somebody says that they’re really good at massage or hairdressing or cooking or whatever, somebody is going to want a freebie… that’s just the way life is. I used to do stand-up comedy and whenever I told them what I did they always made the same clichéd request: “Tell me a joke.” It’s kind of demanding and selfish, but people that ask those questions just don’t see it that way because it’s supposed to be something that you apparently like doing in the first place. I mean, nobody goes up to a proctologist and says “hey, stick your finger in my ass” but they won’t ever have a problem asking a porn star for the same thing.

The bottom line is this; if you make your living as an actress and: a) your wardrobe consists primarily of some guys DNA, b) you spend the majority of your screen time acting as if you like being split open by a male costar who would make Mr. Ed feel self-consciously under-endowed, c) your script is interchangeable with the script from Animal Planet’s “Rutting Week”, and d) you’ve had more tools inside you than a Snap-On delivery van, then you can pretty much rest assured that some (if not all) guys are going to ask you for a screen test sooner or later… and yes, that includes ALL of your male friends.And by the way Kelli, if you screw guys on film for money, yes, you are a slut… not that there’s anything wrong with that.