Apparently my old motivational poster from last year is making the rounds again.
I am glad to hear of it. I am even happier when people give me the credit for making it. That doesn’t seem to happen too much, though.
Posts Tagged ‘Marines’
Rebirth
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
Happy Birthday USMC
Wednesday, November 10th, 2010
I know we like to bust on our sister services because that’s what extended families do. But we also give props where they are due and today is the birthday of the Army’s seagoing younger brother, the United States Marine Corps. The USMC is more of a step-brother since its mom is the Navy, but it is the cool step brother that is always getting into fights. And killing people. Lots of people. Like, almost everybody.
You know what this is? It’s a Marine Corps class ring. Marines are known for their fine marksmanship skills. That’s why these brass knuckles have a front sight post… because they will punch you at 500 yards. They will not only punch you at 500 yards, they will punch you in the dick at 500 yards until it falls off. Don’t have a dick? Well, the Marines will punch you until you grow a dick and then they will punch it off of you for being a smartass. That’s how they roll.
This is a US Marine, female type, 1 ea. She lost her arm while serving her country. Is that slowing her down? No, it is not. Now she has a bionic arm… so she can punch harder and at farther ranges. She can take care of her routine duties while her arm is sent on drone missions to beat the shit out of bad guys. THAT is how badass Marines are.
This is a picture of one of the things that Marines do best: making bad guys into good guys. Funny thing is that it is really very, very simple. It’s just a matter of aeration. The more oxygen a bad guy has in his body (via holes located all over his body) the nicer he becomes. Huh. Who knew that the Marines knew about science? Go figure.
This is R. Lee Ermy. He is a former Marine who played a current Marine making future Marines. He is seen here teaching Marines how to do their primary mission: killing everybody.
This is a female Marine. She is holding a Marine Corps saber. After this picture was taken she chopped the head off the photographer because she suspected him of being a terrorist then she killed 27 more suspected al Qaeda operatives… on the way to pick up her child from day care. She never once messed up her uniform doing so. She later used the sword to cut her own hair… to Marine Corps standards… because she was going on a date later that night… whom she used like a Bic pen and left crying and shuddering and curled up in the fetal position in the corner as she straightened out her uniform and left. That is how badass and horny they are.
This is the other thing that Marines do: have sex with really, really good looking women and lots of them. Even some of the female Marines do. And when the female Marines aren’t doing that, they are conquering male sex partners or killing people. But yeah, Marines really do attract a ridiculous amount of female attention.
I mean, stupid amounts of female attention. You know what kind of female attention the Army guys get? Restraining orders, that’s what we get. You know what kind of female attention the Air Force gets? Recruits. And the Navy? Well, they take care of themselves if you know what I mean.
Even the cammo patterns on their helicopters get more action than most guys.
You know why Marines get so much action? Because of the badassery of their dress blues uniforms in particular and their institutional badassery in general. I will give you an example. This is a Marine Corps bottle opener. It does a great job opening bottles. It has never touched a bottle of beer. You know why? Because you press a button and R. Lee Ermy’s voice screams out “GET THE F*** OFF MY BEER YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF F***ING S***!!! WHO THE F*** TOLD YOU YOU COULD SIT ON MY GODDAMNED BEER?!?” and then the bottle cap just jumps off and runs away.
Of course that kind of thing would carry no weight if it wasn’t for this kind of thing. See that memorial? Yeah, kind of speaks for itself. The Marines did shit like that so they now have a reputation like they do. Second most effective and surefire way of committing suicide? Try pissing on that. The MOST effective way is less than two miles away at the Tomb of the Unknowns.
So Happy 235th Birthday United States Marine Corps. May you be around for another 235 years of wholesale carnage, borderline pornography, and general badassery.
Hoo-Rah.
Trash Day in Helmand Province
Saturday, February 13th, 2010
MARJAH, Afghanistan – Bombs and booby traps slowed the advance of thousands of U.S. Marines and Afghan soldiers moving Saturday through the Taliban-controlled town of Marjah — NATO’s most ambitious effort yet to break the militants’ grip over their southern heartland.
NATO said it hoped to secure the area in days, set up a local government and rush in development aid in a first test of the new U.S. strategy for turning the tide of the eight-year war. The offensive is the largest since the 2001 U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan.
The Taliban appeared to have scattered in the face of overwhelming force, possibly waiting to regroup and stage attacks later to foil the alliance’s plan to stabilize the area and expand Afghan government control in the volatile south.
To the Marines, soldiers, coalition members, etc going into Marjah: Happy hunting. To the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and whoever else is over there itching for a fight: You may be disappointed to find out that those virgins mentioned in the Koran are supposed to be girls… rest in pieces, bitches.
It’s Friday
Friday, February 12th, 2010You should probably know the deal by now…
Food And Firearms
Friday, February 12th, 2010It’s Friday and I have a lot on my plate today and that gave me an idea for a Friday mini-theme. See if you can figure it out. Here’s part one:
Yeah, that’s about right.
Helo Crash Trio In A-stan
Monday, October 26th, 2009KABUL – Helicopter crashes killed 14 Americans on Monday — 11 troops and three drug agents — in the deadliest day for the U.S. mission in Afghanistan in more than four years. The deaths came as President Barack Obama prepared to meet his national security team for a sixth full-scale conference on the future of the troubled war.
In the deadliest crash, a helicopter went down in the west of the country after leaving the scene of a firefight, killing 10 Americans — seven troops and three Drug Enforcement Administration agents. Eleven American troops, one U.S. civilian and 14 Afghans were also injured.
In a separate incident, two U.S. Marine helicopters — one UH-1 and an AH-1 Cobra — collided in flight before sunrise over the southern province of Helmand, killing four American troops and wounding two more, Marine spokesman Maj. Bill Pelletier said.
It was the heaviest single-day loss of life since June 28, 2005, when 16 U.S. troops on a special forces helicopter died when their MH-47 Chinook helicopter was shot down by insurgents. The casualties also mark the first DEA deaths in Afghanistan since it began operations there in 2005.
There was another Chinook crash that took out a bunch of soldiers previous to special ops bird shoot-down. That Chinook crash in 04 or 05 (I cna’t remember for sure) took place close to our FOB just outside of Ghazni. Our guys had to go out, secure the site, recover the remains (there really wasn’t enough left to call them “bodies” anymore), and clean up the mess. They had to use e-tools to scoop the parts into body bags. Since there was no morgue on FOB Ghazni the body bags had to be stored in the mess hall freezer. A couple months later I had to ride down from Bagram to the Pakistani border on a Chinook with a buddy of mine who had been there cleaning it up. When the crew told him to put on his K-pot, he told them it wouldn’t make any difference and refused. I explained to the crew chief what had happened and the chief let it slide. He was the only one not wearing a helmet on the way down and nobody questioned him about it… which was a really smart move on their parts. He still isn’t the same guy and probably never will be… but then again, who is?
Compare And Contrast
Thursday, March 26th, 2009No comment, just watch.
Brazenly stolen from The Pickle
The Marines Can Be Some Real Bad Murtha F****ers Sometimes
Friday, September 26th, 2008
A Marine from Washington County today plans to sue U.S. Rep. John Murtha for publicly claiming his unit slaughtered innocent Iraqi civilians, according to the man’s attorney.
A lawyer for Lance Cpl. Justin Sharratt, 24, of Canonsburg on Wednesday announced plans to sue Murtha, D-Johnstown, for comments he made to news outlets concerning the November 2005 killing of about two dozen people in Haditha.
Murtha repeatedly said Sharratt and seven fellow Marines “committed cold-blooded murder of innocent women and children,” according to lawyer Noah Geary, who scheduled a news conference for 1:30 p.m. today to announce the lawsuit.
Messages left at Murtha’s Washington, D.C., office were not returned.
“Murtha supposedly has credibility as a ‘war hero,’ ” Geary said. “Murtha, if anybody, should know better if he’s a Marine and, ironically, Justin is his constituent. … He did not have any information to say what he said, and what he said was false.”
The lawsuit will accuse Murtha of violating Sharratt’s constitutional rights to a presumption of innocence and due process, as well as slander, Geary said.
I really don’t think anything will come of this, but it’s nice to know that The Marines are striking back at this douchebag one Leatherneck at a time. Murtha was quick to throw around baseless accusations, but it seems to be taking him a very long time to craft his apologies to these Marines. He must be choosing his words very, very carefully.
Even if nothing substantially damaging come to fruition against Mr. Murtha in this case, at least it puts him in the public eye and doesn’t allow him to slither back under his rock without exposing his blatant disregard for due process or even the truth for that matter. Sow the wind Congressman Murtha, reap the whirlwind.
Sappy story of the week
Saturday, February 16th, 2008Yeah, I admit it. I sniffled.
When Maj. Brian Dennis first spotted a scruffy German Shepard-Border collie mix at a fort in Iraq, the dog wasn’t interested in making friends. The dog, who lived in the wild with a pack of canine companions, had already been through a lifetime’s worth of pain and neglect. His ears had been cut off as a puppy, and he had been trained as a fighting dog. Now that he was finally free of his tormentors, the dog just wanted to be left alone.But Dennis saw something special in the dog, whom he nicknamed “Nubs,” because of his missing ears. It took some time, but eventually Dennis had the dog eating out of his hand. One day, when Nubs showed up one day with a deep wound in his side, Dennis nursed him back to health. Soon, Dennis and Nubs were inseparable.
Sadly, Dennis learned that his unit would be forced to relocate to a new base, and he wasn’t allowed to bring Nubs along. As he watched Nubs race alongside his Hummer as his unit drove away from the fort for the last time, he was sure that he would never see the dog again.
But two days later, a familiar face turned up at Dennis’ new base: Somehow, Nubs had managed to follow the Marine unit through the Iraqi desert on foot, all the way to their new base – 70 miles away.
Good news. The good Major and Nubs will be reunited back home in the states.
Happy ending. *sniff*
Ahhh The Irony
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Isn’t physically preventing someone from coming or going without legal or justifiable cause considered kidnapping? And am I the only one who thinks these asshats should be hauled off to jail? Freedom of Speech only for the liberals who refuse to allow our Marines to defend it. Lovely.
Thank you, Jim DeMint!
Monday, February 4th, 2008
When I heard last week about the scummy crap being pulled by Code Pink communist f*cknozzles at Berkeley in front of the Marine recruiting center, I was so pissed, I wanted to kick my television.
My first reaction was, “They should give back every penny of the taxpayer dollars they undoubtedly suck up from the federal government.”
Apparently Senator Jim DeMint had the same idea. Click on the link in the title.
Berkeley, California is probably a very nice place to live, but the recent action of their City Council has consequences. To spit in the eyes of the United States Marine Corps will not stand. We shouldn’t allow cities to play silly games at our troops’ expense — during a time of war — and continue to shower them with special taxpayer handouts.
That is why I will propose legislation rescinding Berkeley’s earmarks and transferring the funds to the Marine Corps.
Over $2 million was secretly tucked away for Berkeley earmarks in the 2008 Omnibus Appropriations bill. These were projects that were never even voted on or debated. Two of the earmarks provide gourmet school lunches in the Berkeley School District, while our hard working Marines eat basic MRE’s.
Granted, I’d like to see every penny returned and given to the Marines, but… I know I can’t have it all. This is a nice start, though.
I Love This Guy
Saturday, August 25th, 2007You know what, he may be rough around the edges, but he’s dead on. This video may seem like a twisted mind game at first, but the rest of it is good, honest stuff.
And screw all of those so called “journalists” that equate suicide bombers with Rangers and SF.
Ops Intel, Every Day, 13:15, Every Day, Ops Intel
Sunday, July 15th, 2007Six months of an XO reminding an S-6 shop of the OpsIntel briefing… brilliantly funny.
A Remarkable Woman… Worthy Of Praise
Friday, July 13th, 2007This clip is about Kaziah Hancock. She’s an established portrait artist who regularly sells her paintings for thousands of dollars… except to the families of fallen servicemen, for whom she does them for free. She seems to be a bit of a loon (as are most artists in one way or another), but her heart is certainly in the right place.
Reaction to Snakes
Thursday, June 21st, 2007
• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.
• Paratrooper:Lands on and kills the snake.
• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
• Infantry: “Look, a putty cat. Come ‘ere kitty….Ouch! Hey, that’s not a putty tat.”
• Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can’t find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called “The Snake.”
• Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
• 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake’s home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
• MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.
• JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.
• Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for “Snake, Green, One Each,” as non-expendable unit property.
• Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, “UTRWBAG” (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.
• Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
• Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
• Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.
• Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.
• AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.
• AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake’s life.
• Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.
H/T to swapmeethumor… this was all his. Linked above.
