“We’d also heard mention of [the heckling and dildo dump], but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice,” said AIK club head Mats Hedenström to the newspaper.
This quote comes from a story about a Swedish hockey team, their defenseman Jan Huokko, and a hail of dildos, a giant inflatable penis, and a viral Internet sex video.
Another great quote from the story: “Huokko is known for putting the biscuit in the basket.”
The thing that kills me about this is how nonchalant they all were about it. I mean, when the sex video that brought this all on was mentioned to Huokko, he was quoted as saying “That’s what people do when it comes to sex.” Really? Holy crap! Maybe that’s why I was never nearly as successful as my peers when it came to getting women to come home with me from bars back in the day… all of my friends had camcorders and I didn’t!
But why throw dildos if the whole thing is a big “video sex scandal”? Well, after some exhaustive research (about two minutes worth) I found stills from the video in question of Jan Huokko and his girlfriend. The video capture shows Huokko using a dildo… on himself. That’s right… he was putting the rubber man missile up in his stink silo… or maybe she was jamming it up there… it’s hard to tell by the angle and I only gave it a quick glance before I threw up. I bet all of you guys who followed the link before reading the rest of the sentence are really sorry you didn’t exercise more patience.
Fans here would have been nonplussed to say the least about the meatier shower that rained down on the ice, but apparently the Swedes are so used to getting that much sex that it was a “non-issue” for them. “It didn’t affect play at all. People barely noticed it,” [Lars G. Karlsson, an official from Sweden’s ice hockey association] said. “Barely noticed it”?!?! Hundreds of dildos hit the ice because some guy got cornholed by his girlfriend’s best battery operated buddy and people barely noticed it?
Wow.
Just, wow.
H/T to TSO and his buddies at “PooperPiratePrideWeb”
