Posts Tagged ‘Britain’

Living And Dying The Sniper Lifestyle

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

I don’t always write about fallen soldiers simply because there are so many of them that I would be busy most of the time writing only about our fallen brethren and there are already sites dedicated solely to that end. I do, however, write about fallen warriors that pique my interest for some reason or another; this is one of those cases.

Enter one Royal Marine David Hart. Marine Hart was not your average guy. He studied horticulture and did that for a few years before joining the Royal Marines. Interesting? Sure, but not enough to warrant a post just because he liked plants. He was a member of the Royal Marines’ 40 Commando. Enough on its own to warrant a Sniper Lifestyle post? No. Good on him, but no. He also took out a life insurance policy before he left for Afghanistan and left stipulations for generous awards to his family and charity if he ever had the misfortune of causing that policy to mature. Nice but, again, not enough to warrant a post. He hailed from a town called Upper Poppleton. Okay, that is pretty close to cool enough to make a post. I mean, “Upper Poppleton”? That is a pretty cool name but not quite enough. When Marine Hart was killed Helmand province on July 8 last year by a Taliban bomb he gave every one of his tomorrows for our today. For that alone he deserves a post and has numerous posts in his name all over the internet but he makes his mark at The Sniper because of how he chose to be remembered by his friends: a $160,000.00 party in Las Vegas for all of his friends.

When he died, he left a letter stipulating that £100,000 of a £250,000 insurance policy should be spent ensuring those mates had one last party in his honour.

Now 32 of them – his best friends and their girlfriends – are jetting off to Las Vegas to celebrate his memory.

Close friend Andy Hare said that in his letter, David – who was killed a day before his 24th birthday – had talked about having had a great life and not having any regrets. “He said: ‘Go and have a great time and spend all this money’,” Andy said. “All the lads said: ‘What a guy’.”

We here at The Sniper salute you, Marine Hart. You truly lived, and died, The Sniper lifestyle. I will drink a toast in your honor.

Rest In Peace, Marine.

H/T to the Stalker

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The Royal Wedding

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

I have to say that I don’t really care that much about the “royal wedding“. To me it is just a soldier getting married to a hot chick. Now a soldier marrying a hot chick I can respect because of my almost reverent respect for both soldiers and hot chicks (and hot soldier chicks doubly so), but the hype has GOT to go.

To be quite honest I really don’t care what the schedule of the royal wedding is. I don’t care how much the gown cost (I’m guessing some of the more fiscally conservative Brits are probably verrrry concerned how much the dress, and the rest of the entire shindig for that matter, is setting back the average British, tax-paying subject) or how old the carriage is or how many British orphans it took to sew how many pearls into Kate’s dress. I don’t care who got invited and who didn’t (although the fact that Prince William invited his whole unit is pretty classy) and I don’t care what the Queen thinks of the entire affair. I don’t care that they can’t kiss in Westminster Abbey nor do I care where and when exactly the first kiss will be or how long it will take. Frankly, unless he lifts up her royal gown, bends her over the royal balcony, whips out the “royal scepter”, and starts pounding away at her royal fanny with all the force and anger of the Blitz and the whole thing is televised, I don’t care.

I won’t be buying any souvenir plates or pictures or condoms or sex toys or pint glasses or anything else with the royal couple’s likeness on it and I am pretty sure I won’t watch a second of the ceremony that promises to drone on for hours and hours with the rigid and humorless pomp and circumstance that defines the British monarchy. I really don’t have anything against the Prince or his bride, but it really doesn’t concern me and I have better things to do than to watch hour upon hour of Fawlty Towers without the humor.

If you want to watch the wedding, knock yourself out. Have fun. Enjoy. It’s their business so I will abstain unless they suddenly plan on televising the seedier portions of the honeymoon.

On a side note, man to man, I will say this to William: I respect your service to your country and global security and congratulations on snagging the hottest woman in the royal family (or possibly all of England) since your mom.You da man.

Cheers.

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The Captiously Gormless Pusillanimously Persecute A Preux Patriot

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

270057-sawn_off_shotgun_superWhat the hell is an honest Joe supposed to do? This happened in Britain…

A former soldier who handed a discarded shotgun in to police faces at least five years imprisonment for “doing his duty”.

Paul Clarke, 27, was found guilty of possessing a firearm at Guildford Crown Court on Tuesday – after finding the gun and handing it personally to police officers on March 20 this year.

The jury took 20 minutes to make its conviction, and Mr Clarke now faces a minimum of five year’s imprisonment for handing in the weapon.

This is the problem with so called “zero tolerance” laws as well as gun control laws. This guy just wanted to turn in an illegal weapon, and he got busted for doing so. If you read the rest of the story you’ll see that his defense attorney makes a pretty compelling case for him but the guy still got five years none the less. With this as a precedent, I wonder how many people are going to be handing in any weapons they run across in the future. I know I wouldn’t This is exactly why I live in America… oh, and the food’s better and I don’t have to drive on the wrong side of the road. I will admit that they have a better selection of beer, but apparently they need it due to their lack of attractiveness (hey, I don’t make up the facts, I just report them).

H/T to VT Woody

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It’s A Grunt Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee. From beyond the grave, I f*** with thee…

Dress Greens replaced by green dress.

Dress Greens replaced by green dress.

IT WAS a pact that only a true friend would keep.

Before one of them was sent to fight in Afghanistan for the British Army, they made a deal: If one of them died, the other had to wear a dress to the funeral.

So when Barry Delaney turned up to the graveside funeral of best friend Private Kevin Elliott, he did so wearing a tight fluorescent dress, The Times reports.

The green dress was matched with equally bright pink leg warmers and black hiking boots.

And the best part is that nobody had the stones to even try to make fun of this guy either on the way to or from the funeral. It takes a man to keep a promise to a dead comrade… it takes a real man to keep that promise when it involves something like this. I would ask some of my old combat buddies to do the same for me but I’m sure a few of them will probably show up in a dress anyway so it’s a moot point.

H/T to VT Woody… I’m sure that you would look great in a daring backless.

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Ah, But Can They Find A Way To Make It Leak Oil?

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

License and environmental impact statement needed to drive this.

License and environmental impact statement needed to drive this.

He took the car out of retirement and turned it over to electrical engineering students at the University of South Carolina’s College of Engineering and Computing. He gave them the opportunity to turn the British Leyland Motor Corp. vehicle into a car of the 21st century – a car not run on “petrol,” but electricity.

And they have. The “Electric MG,” as it’s called, is a reality.

My brother had one of these and kept a case of oil in the trunk to keep it running. A whole freakin’ case. But this one is electric and the burning question is this: what will the British automobile industry do to make their mark on the world if there is no oil to leak? I mean, the only reason Britain hasn’t been successful in the computer industry is that they haven’t figured out a way to store, burn, and eventually leak a gallon of oil each day from a hard drive.

Good luck to these guys. I sincerely mean it because if you have bad teeth, an electric car, AND that car is an MGB, you’re entire sexual future hinges on you being able to produce something pretty friggin’ clever and lucrative from that engineering degree because the ladies probably aren’t going to be throwing themselves at you.

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Insurgent Squirrel Babies Being Airdropped Into Iran And Then Being Retrieved By A Squirrel Agent In A Tehran Suburb… Shocking!

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

More proof that the British are training and funding squirrel insurgents!

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The Founding Fathers Were “Insurgents, Thieves, and Deserters” According To British General

Friday, June 1st, 2007

He’s a retired Army commander named General Sir Michael Rose (and author of a book on the British defeat against the Americans in the revolution), and according to him, the war can’t be won. Why? Well, in his not-so-humble opinion it can’t be won because the Brits lost against us in the American Revolution. Good rationale there, Mike. Speaking at the annual Hay Festival of Literature and the Arts in Hay-on-Wye, he also said that “announcing a withdrawal date would help to dampen down the violence between Sunni, Shia and Kurdish factions” and “Give them a date and it is amazing how people and political parties will stop fighting each other and start working towards a peaceful transfer of power.” Ohhhh, like our withdrawal from Hanoi… kind of like that? You know, when the North Vietnamese swarmed down and bled the South as if it were some kind of massive, Asian slaughterhouse? Like that? Or maybe like when the Russians withdrew from Afghanistan and the Mujahidin cut them to ribbons… like that? Or maybe like in the Balkans where announced withdrawal plans only served to cause warlords to better cover their tracks with lies and their victims with lye? When they were killing each other hand over fist simply so that there would be no witnesses for the war crimes tribunals? Like that?

General Rose, you are an arrogant prick whose sole purpose seems to be to sell more books while simultaneously trying to rewrite your history to show that no nation can stand up to rebels. What you fail to realize is this: the British Army didn’t ultimately lose in 1783 because no major army can stand up to insurgents (see: US History… 200+ years of crushing the natives), but because the insurgents that they were up against ultimately made America. Britain’s offshoot nations have become stronger than their parent country. It is tough to deal with but it is, in fact, what all mothers want… for their children to become more than they are. The proud sons of Britain (United States, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada… well Canada turned out to be a little fruity, but a good egg none the less) have indeed fulfilled that function and no attempt to rewrite history will turn that around.

The Americans got kicked out because their beliefs were intolerable to Britain. The Aussies and the Kiwis got kicked out because their behavior wasn’t up to British standards. And the Canadians got kicked out, well, because of their affinity for Celine Dion-esque singers is my best guess… or maybe they just wanted them to go somewhere where they could be free to do comedy in an Arctic setting. But the bottom line is that all of these countries grew strong through adversity. They did not, however, become great by giving up.

And yes, he called our founding fathers “Insurgents, Thieves, and Deserters.” Another great line by the self-proclaimed expert on all things military is this “You don’t win wars by regime change but by changing attitudes”… I guess WW I, WW II, and any other war where a despot was taken out and the country was liberated doesn’t count.

By the way, if the name rings a bell to any of my military buddies, he was in charge of the UN Protection Force in Bosnia-Hercegovina from 1994 to 1995.

Let the comments roll.

PS: This is in no way a slam on the Brits or their military nor is it in any way meant to slight our allies… I just think this guy is an ass with a huge case of sour grapes.

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