Posts Tagged ‘battle’

Trash Day in Helmand Province

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

MARJAH, Afghanistan – Bombs and booby traps slowed the advance of thousands of U.S. Marines and Afghan soldiers moving Saturday through the Taliban-controlled town of Marjah — NATO’s most ambitious effort yet to break the militants’ grip over their southern heartland.

NATO said it hoped to secure the area in days, set up a local government and rush in development aid in a first test of the new U.S. strategy for turning the tide of the eight-year war. The offensive is the largest since the 2001 U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan.

The Taliban appeared to have scattered in the face of overwhelming force, possibly waiting to regroup and stage attacks later to foil the alliance’s plan to stabilize the area and expand Afghan government control in the volatile south.

To the Marines, soldiers, coalition members, etc going into Marjah: Happy hunting. To the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and whoever else is over there itching for a fight: You may be disappointed to find out that those virgins mentioned in the Koran are supposed to be girls… rest in pieces, bitches.

Suck It North Korea

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

nknavySEOUL, South Korea – A badly damaged North Korean patrol ship retreated in flames Tuesday after a skirmish with a South Korean naval vessel along their disputed western coast, South Korean officials said.

The first naval clash between the two sides in seven years broke out just a week before President Barack Obama is due to visit Seoul, raising suspicions the North’s communist regime is trying to rachet up tensions to gain a negotiating advantage.

Okay, so here’s how I say it went down: North Korean ship comes snooping around South Korean waters. North Korean ship violates South Korean waters. South Korean ship comes in to confront North Korean ship. North Korean ship tells South Korean ship that it’s in North Korean waters. South Korean Captain gets sick of this immediately and lights up the North Korean’s ass. North Korean ship goes limping back to Kim Jong-Il with his ass on fire and his tail tucked like the little bitch he is.