I have to say that I don’t really care that much about the “royal wedding“. To me it is just a soldier getting married to a hot chick. Now a soldier marrying a hot chick I can respect because of my almost reverent respect for both soldiers and hot chicks (and hot soldier chicks doubly so), but the hype has GOT to go.
To be quite honest I really don’t care what the schedule of the royal wedding is. I don’t care how much the gown cost (I’m guessing some of the more fiscally conservative Brits are probably verrrry concerned how much the dress, and the rest of the entire shindig for that matter, is setting back the average British, tax-paying subject) or how old the carriage is or how many British orphans it took to sew how many pearls into Kate’s dress. I don’t care who got invited and who didn’t (although the fact that Prince William invited his whole unit is pretty classy) and I don’t care what the Queen thinks of the entire affair. I don’t care that they can’t kiss in Westminster Abbey nor do I care where and when exactly the first kiss will be or how long it will take. Frankly, unless he lifts up her royal gown, bends her over the royal balcony, whips out the “royal scepter”, and starts pounding away at her royal fanny with all the force and anger of the Blitz and the whole thing is televised, I don’t care.
I won’t be buying any souvenir plates or pictures or condoms or sex toys or pint glasses or anything else with the royal couple’s likeness on it and I am pretty sure I won’t watch a second of the ceremony that promises to drone on for hours and hours with the rigid and humorless pomp and circumstance that defines the British monarchy. I really don’t have anything against the Prince or his bride, but it really doesn’t concern me and I have better things to do than to watch hour upon hour of Fawlty Towers without the humor.
If you want to watch the wedding, knock yourself out. Have fun. Enjoy. It’s their business so I will abstain unless they suddenly plan on televising the seedier portions of the honeymoon.
On a side note, man to man, I will say this to William: I respect your service to your country and global security and congratulations on snagging the hottest woman in the royal family (or possibly all of England) since your mom.You da man.
Cheers.
Tags: Britain, Catherine Middleton, England, Great Britain, Prince William, Royal Wedding, Wales
Frankly, unless he lifts up her royal gown, bends her over the royal balcony, whips out the “royal scepter”, and starts pounding away at her royal fanny with all the force and anger of the Blitz and the whole thing is televised, I don’t care.
Once again, you leave me speechless…
Wait, is that in the good, funny way or the bad, oh my God I cannot believe how tasteless this guy is kind of way?
Wait, is that in the good, funny way or the bad, oh my God I cannot believe how tasteless this guy is kind of way?
Yes, all of the above, at the same time. Bravo!
In your inimitable crude-but-effective way, you manage to sum up all the important points. Unlike his father, Prince William seems to be a pretty good sort of guy. I get the impression, for all that he could be a spoiled whiny right bahrstahrd of a rich kid, he seems like a decent, competent effective officer, the kind I wouldn’t mind work for, or with.
And he seems to have pretty good taste in women, too. Woman – he’s been with Kate for quite some time, it looks like this relationship is good and steady and is going to stand the test of time.
But all I gotta do is look at Prince Charles, and I am reminded as to why we Americans had that bit of unpleasantness back in 1776 – which means that any attention we pay to what the British Royalty does or says is purely voluntary on our parts. At least when we get a bad ruler, we only have to put up with him for four years or so, not a lifetime.
Sniper: All of the above. However, I’m used to it, as my husband will make the same tasteless comments on occasion.
Ed: I was up at the o’dark thirty with the Chia Pet when he was getting ready for PT, and the news was on. When a comment was made about how Queen Elizabeth had been on the throne for 60-some years, he said, “And that’s why we started a revolution against those f***ers!”
Actually, William is in the Royal Air Force. His younger brother, Prince Harry, is in the Army, has done a tour in Astan and is currently training as an Apache pilot.
However, you are forgiven your error seeing as you are also an ex-sniper and we rare breeds should stick together even when we cock up.
Actually I am not an ex-sniper so feel free to rip me to shreds whenever I cock up.
The name “Sniper” was a nickname given to me because I was always sharp-shooting people. Don’t get me wrong, I am an expert with every weapon I ever picked up and missing a target for me is a lot more rare than, say, winning he lottery but I have not earned the actual title. I may put that in my header at some point.
I did know that William was in the Air Force, I just gave him the generic moniker of “soldier” as a catch all.
O.K., Sniper, nothing personal. You do seem to be in possession of the right state of mind so in my heart I would be happy to share a mutual respect, if you so wished.
P.S. Is there any chance that the Muslim will be re-elected? It really will determine the future for all of us on both sides of the pond!
P.P.S. Ever tried a ‘Welrod’???
Regards, T.
Oh no offense taken at all. Anytime anyone wants to compare me to a an actual, trained sniper I am more than happy to accept the honor but I don’t want to steal the honor of those who have been there, done that. I have plenty of my own accolades that I can claim.
As for the 2012 elections, you can bet Obama will be elected again. He could kill a baby on stage by sodomy with a jack hammer and people would still vote for him. It just baffles me.
Never tried a Welrod. Unless it some painful sex practice that involves prison, large men, or farm animals and it won’t a) kill me, b) change my gender, and/or c) cause parts of me to fall off I would probably be willing to try it though. If it contains alcohol I would absolutely try it.
Perhaps some or all the options in your last paragraph above but I am sure you would enjoy it none the less. Try here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welrod
Regards, T.
I would definitely try it. Add in a good English bitter or ten, some darts, and some fish and chips and you’ve got a perfect afternoon brewing.
that picture of her in the yellow bikini is 100% fake
re Ghost Hawk: you get the Eagle Eye Award for that catch but the rest of the piccies are fair dinkum. She will definitely take the edge off of Wills’ day… Now about her li’l sis Pippa – yee haw.