Total Class

February 9th, 2010 by The Sniper

Nothing says “classy” like announcing that you’re dropping out of a political campaign while you’re standing at a bar… unless it’s announcing that you’re dropping out of a political campaign while you’re standing at a bar because you have a history of steroid abuse, spousal abuse, and assaulting an ex-girlfriend with a deadly weapon… and then having it turn out that the ex-girlfriend in question was a prostitute.

CHICAGO – The Democratic nominee for Illinois’ lieutenant governor dropped out of the race Sunday night, less than a week after winning the nomination, amid a political uproar about his past.

Announcing his decision at a Chicago bar packed with patrons watching the Super Bowl, a tearful Scott Lee Cohen said the Democrats were not certain they could win with him on the ticket. He said he was stepping down because he did not want to jeopardize the Democratic Party ticket.

Since Cohen won the Democratic nomination on Tuesday, it has become widely known that he was accused of abusing his ex-wife and holding a knife to the throat of an ex-girlfriend — a woman who was herself charged with prostitution. He also admits using steroids in the past.

Awesome. Simply awesome. Scott Cohen, you sir are a douchebag.

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4 Responses to “Total Class”

  1. infantryjj says:

    He’s not a douchebag, he’s a typical democrat…

  2. AW1 Tim says:

    Not a fully-qualified Democrat, though. He still needs to be caught cheating on his taxes. While raising yours. :)

  3. Bob Devine says:

    That sounds like a pretty tame and clean slate for someone from Chicago. He must have the good stuff hidden away to bring out just before the voting begins. He will be a shoe in that way. Know one will have time to say he did not do it.

  4. PabloK says:

    I wouldn’t be happy about this. Yeah, this dude is a scumbag, but the Democratic citizens of Chicago voted for him. Now, who gets the power of putting up another Lt. Governor candidate? The Daley political machine. This completely takes control of government from the voter. At the very least this guy ran a successful business before. Guess what the Democrats of Chicago will get as a candidate now. The most connected bureaucrat lawyer turned politician, not an improvement.

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