The editors were dismayed to discover that in honor of Elvis’ Birthday today, 99% of the staff was dressed as the Vegas Elvis while one member was dressed as the other birthday boy, David Bowie dressed as Ziggy Stardust. Then it was pointed out our resident Ziggy dresses that way all year round.
We like to start with our current president, so we were pleased when we received this from the “Let’s not let history get in the way of a good story” desk. First, is an paragraph from BHO’s statement yesterday.
Moreover, I am less interested in passing out blame than I am in learning from and correcting these mistakes to make us safer. For ultimately, the buck stops with me. As President, I have a solemn responsibility to protect our nation and our people. And when the system fails, it is my responsibility.
And next the response.
DIANE SAWYER: George, I have to say, ‘the buck stops here.’ It’s an echo of another young President in another time.
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: John Kennedy after the Bay of Pigs. Huge intelligence failures at the Bay of Pigs. The President took responsibility, his popularity shot up. The White House is calculating with the President taking personal responsibility, they can put this behind them.
BRIAN ROSS: Then a short time later, he fired the head of the CIA.
Harry Truman was not available for comment or for that round table of historians.
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From our everpresent “Is that an atomizer are you just happy to see me” desk…
Monica Gonzalez, 41, has been married for more than a decade and never been charged with a crime in her life, according to the Daily News. But one fateful evening, walking to the hospital after suffering an asthma attack in the middle of the night, she was accused of trying to solicit men in Sunset Park and was arrested, the paper reports.
…
The case was set to go to trial, but Gonzalez opted to settle instead for a cool $35,000, according to the News.
Only in New York does Asthma equal Prostitution.
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Ladies and Gentlemen, back from working the now closed Smoking Section of the Golden Corral we are pleased to present Brownac the Magnificent! You, of course, remember the format. Brownac will guess the subject and then we the editors will put the real one. And today is multimedia!
Brownac: How is that Global Warming Working for ya?
Editors:
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Brownac: I didn’t know that BtFMC was in the newspaper.
Editors: Couple Collects Cans To Pay For Wedding
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Brownac: John Kerry meets with Iranian Delegation.
Editors:
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Brownac: This doesn’t include Jim Zorn or Jim Mora
Editors: Economy loses 85K jobs.
Brownac: Cause, see they are going to be replaced..
Editors: Yeah, we got it.
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Brownac: The last one.
Editors: The final one.
Brownac: I just said that. Boy, you guys really do fill out those Jump suits, don’t you?
There goes Tuesday Tittilation.
Editors: Natalie Portman won’t bare all on-screen again
And there he goes, gentle persons, Brownac the Magnificent!
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And finally from our “Wow, that is some weapon” desk.
“Let me buy a [security] pass … so that they can scan me and and search me and measure my penis, then let me get on the plane,” James Carville said.
Gotta love ole Jarhead the Ragin’ Cajun!
When you guys come over to get the boy tomorrow, try not to step on any of the cans okay?
Thanks.
Beer cans? Okay.