On Sikhs

June 25th, 2009 by The Sniper

Okay, in a previous post I may have gone a little overboard in my treatment in press about some Sikhs that wanted to join the Army, but wanted to keep their hair. Since then I have been doing some research on the Sikh religion and history. Characteristically I have realized that perhaps I was too rash too quickly (as I often am). Very uncharacteristically for me, however, I have come to the realization that I was dead wrong (you may mark the dates on your calendars). After educating myself on the ways of the Sikhs I not only think we should allow those two Sikhs that I mentioned before to serve, but I think we should recruit battalions of these badasses. You think Rangers scare Islamist terrorists? Try a battalion of bearded Rangers who carry swords as well as machine guns and bazookas who, by the way, also have a deep seated, historical hatred of Muslim imperialism and you’ll have al Qaeda crapping their pants.

Seriously, the Sikhs are bad ass with a capital bad and a capital ass all in bold face. They have to study martial arts, learn to use a sword, and a carry a dagger as a REQUIRMENT of their faith and they have to help anyone who’s getting a beat down near them! They’re freakin’ Batman in a turban! Does your minister carry a mini-scimitar and is he ready to use it if a bystander gets mugged? I doubt it. Our saints usually earn their stripes by getting hacked to pieces or burned at the stake or some similar bad ending at the hands of some other religion or government official. Sikh saints earn their stripes by slicing through their would-be oppressors like bearded food processors. Their men have been known to fight even after their heads get lopped off and the ones that aren’t as manly risk getting bitch slapped by the feistier Sikh women.

Despite all of this knack for bringing the pain, Sikhs are usually really peaceful and hell bent on harmonious co-existence. They’re basically the religious equivalent of the ideal American: peaceful and just in peace… your worst nightmare if you’re trying to break bad. So, maybe it is time we changed the rules a little. Maybe I was wrong. I don’t know the best way to go about it and I don’t know what kind of ramifications there might be, but I do think this issue should be looked at more closely.


Yeah, I think right about now we could use some more soldier saints.

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5 Responses to “On Sikhs”

  1. avatar Zero Ponsdorf says:

    Nah… When it comes to our military the rules need very much to apply equally. On that you were not wrong.

    Now, I'd be cheering on bringing Sikhs on board as separate units in one form or another. Since you're examining history look up the 'yards in VN.

    There's precedence galore.

    One or two SF advisers to point them in the right direction, and turn 'em loose.

    OTOH… in today's world… who knows?

  2. avatar TSO says:

    Good, you came to the same conclusion I did.

    Screw the masks. No one will use em anyway.

  3. avatar SpecialEd says:

    Yeah, I have mixed feelings on this one. Separate section for them might be right. They are some scary guys.

    Maybe I can convince my church to take the same stance? "We all have to carry a sword and a gun at all times."

  4. avatar Roanoke Cop says:

    A specialized Sikh unit with modified grooming standards would be okay. They'll need a lot more than 2 guys though.

  5. avatar Snakeeater says:

    We had a Sikh in my first SF company. He even had an extra small camouflage-pattern turban that would fit under his helmet for jumps and he'd wear it in the field.

    At the time there were something four or five Sikhs in the entire Army. Probably none now since the Army ruled that they had to shave so that protective masks would seal.

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