Okay, today’s theme is this: Hot For Teacher. Why? Dunno. Just so… so here we go.
You will write 100 times “I will not make lewd comments…”
Yes, as a matter of fact I AM paying attention ma’am.
I never, ever had a teacher like this one.
Math: My new favorite subject.
I’ll be in my bunk.
JOS, Nigeria (AFP) – Christian villagers in Nigeria fled their homes following threats of new attacks in the aftermath of a massacre, despite the presence Tuesday of troops designed to restore calm to the region.
While troops patrolled the three villages where members of the mainly Muslim Fulani ethnic group embarked on their killing spree, residents of neighbouring villages said they had already received new threats.
I don’t really subscribe to any particular religion myself, but I will say this much: you don’t often see a bunch of machete wielding Christians running around hacking people up. Well, at least not since the Crusades and the Inquisition. Just sayin’.
As proof, they have provided the following photo of a Chinese youth being totally pwned by a Japanese sumo wrestler.
So I guess they have a point.
“Every day, this elected leader [Jugo Chavez] is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. And this is mainstream media, who should — truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”
– Spicoli Friday night on The Bill Maher Waste of Time Show (I think that is the name)
GROVE CITY, Pa. (AP) — Fire officials in western Pennsylvania say a malfunctioning fan may have been responsible for the blaze that destroyed a historic metal forge that made ashtrays for the ill-fated German airship the Hindenburg and did custom work for Walt Disney.
A US-born spokesman for al-Qaida
has been arrested, Pakistani authorities said today , hailing an
intelligence coup that struck a blow at the organisation’s public
relations apparatus.
Reports of the arrest of Adam Gadahn in
Karachi came on the same day the California-born American appeared in a web video in which he called on American Muslims to launch attacks in the US.
Gadahn, the first American to be charged with treason
since the second world war era, is one of the FBI’s top 10 most wanted
terrorists and has had a $1m reward offered for information leading to
his capture.
Extradition?
How about sodomy by a herd of a thousand rabid yak?
And then toss his fetid carcass to the pigs.
A fitting end.
Too bad we’re too civilized a nation to do to him what he really deserves.
UPDATE: Conflicting reports
Is he or isn’t he captured? We can only hope.
I added some. They’re in the lower right side bar. They’re sick. Really. The first one you just throw a guy down the stairs for points. The more he gets hurt, the more points you get. I would go for velocity plus speed for the best blood and bone crushing. The second one is better because you eventually can but a skin that makes the little bubble man look like Michael Moore or John Kerry and you can use grenades, Molotov cocktails, fists, rockets, bowling balls, whatever to make him hurt for fun and profit. You hurt the bubble man, you make money, you make money, you buy things that inflict pain. It’s a total win… unless you’re the bubble man.
WASHINGTON – Buffeted by ethics inquiries, veteran New York Rep. Charles B. Rangel stepped down Wednesday as chairman of the House’s powerful tax-writing committee, delivering a fresh political jolt to a Democratic Party already facing angry voters.
Actually I’m not sorry Charlie. I’m not sorry one iota. I hope you land in jail. By the way, you’re harpy SotH Pelosi trying to cover your ass at a press conference just makes you look worse. Rule #1. Never have Nancy Pelosi go to bat for you for anything.
SAN BERNARDO, Chile — The Desarmes family left their native Haiti two weeks after the devastating Jan. 12 earthquake, joining the eldest son in Chile for what seemed a refuge from the fear and chaos of Port-au-Prince.
Their sense of security lasted barely a month. It was shattered at 3:43 a.m. Saturday when one of the most powerful quakes on record shook a swath of Chile
.
Seriously. Stay the hell out of my neighborhood you quake magnets. Actually, if you could avoid the entire east coast I would be much obliged.
Sen Roy Ashburn: “I hate gays I hate gays I hate gays I just blew a guy in a gay bar and I liked it I hate gays.”
Joining a long list of Republican legislators with a history of opposing gay rights legislation who turn out to have gay – ahem -sympathies, is State Sen. Roy Ashburn, who represents parts of central and Southern California.
According to Sacramento-based CBS13, Ashburn was “was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento, early Wednesday morning. The California Highway Patrol pulled over Senator Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.”
Okay, now that’s some funny right there. That would be like me screaming from the top of my lungs that I hate beer, hot wings, and scantily clad women and then getting caught walking out of Hooters. What a friggin’ hypocrite. I’ve said it a billion times before… I don’t care what floats your boat as long as it doesn’t sink mine, but don’t bitch about the boat I’m sailing when it looks exactly like yours either.
I want you to think about this video and ask yourself if you’re really sick or just being a pansy.
That guy is the man.
President Obama’s endorsement Wednesday of a risky legislative maneuver to complete health-care legislation sent Democratic leaders scrambling to settle policy disputes and assemble the votes necessary for passage in the coming weeks.
In a speech at the White House, Obama urged Congress to “finish its work” on health care and indicated support for a strategy that includes the budget maneuver known as reconciliation, which would protect the final product from a Republican filibuster in the Senate. Obama told an audience of medical professionals that Congress “owes the American people a final vote on health-care reform.”
So health-care “reform” failing to pass the Senate with a vote of 59 to 41 would not be “a final vote”? Only passage is “a final vote”? Someone get Oxford on the line, their dictionary is flawed..
No commentary, just read this…
LOS ANGELES – Three Los Angeles elementary school teachers accused of giving children portraits of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in a Black History Month parade have been removed from their classrooms, a school district spokeswoman said Wednesday.
Yeah. Read the rest of the story here.
You can guess where I fall on the “funny/not funny” scale here.
You may think it’s Thursday but it’s actually Tuesday. You have not seen a four day lapse in my posting, you’re just been stuck in a loop in the space-time continuum that kept you firmly anchored in the 28th of February and then miraculously catapulted you through time to Tuesday and when you finish reading this post you will again be catapulted forward to Thursday. Pretty weird, huh? Not buying it? Crap. Alright, I’ll fess up: I’ve been too goddamned busy to post anything. Hell, I’ve been too busy to get busy and that’s too friggin’ busy if you ask me. After having received a couple of complaints by phone (seriously) I figure I better post something so here we go… Tuesday on Thursday. This post is especially for some folks in DC, Indiana, New York, and Virginia. Yeah, amazingly I’ve gotten that many complaints. So here we go…
Today I give you Moran Atias. I won’t spoil this with inane banter.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
Uh.
You’ll be needing this.
I’ll be in my bunk.
